and Fertility Information
This article contains general information regarding recurrent miscarriage. If you are miscarrying right now, please be taken back to the beginning.
Enduring multiple pregnancy losses poses unique emotional challenges, whether you have surviving children or not, and whether you have surviving children or not, emotional support is extremely important. Having a surviving child or children can make you feel as though your feelings over your losses are perhaps less valuable, and well-meaning friends can inflict unintentional harm as they pry and ask questions about your continued family planning, not knowing you may be enduring such heartbreak. If you do not have surviving children, the journey from grief to healing can seem excruciatingly lonely, hopeless, and as though noone could understand your many feelings, including how to handle family pressures to carry on the family name or legacy, or planning your retirement years without children or grandchildren involved.
Whether a few weeks, or a few years, have passed since your first pregnancy loss, any subsequent losses are usually more emotionally devastating on both the mother and the father, and the intensity of the grief can oftentimes seem magnified.
Following subsequent losses, it can seem as though you may be trying to numb or dull the emotions out.
You may have at one time processed your feelings and felt confident that if you experience another loss, you may be more ready, more in control. Oftentimes, it is one parent who feels this confidence, while the other parent may have doubts or fears about trying again. You may feel guilty or embarassed for thinking you could try again, or for thinking that you could handle another loss easier. You may feel so angry that you decide to make a definitive decision regarding birth control, or you may feel so panicked that you quickly try again. You may wonder why it is so unfair that you have recurrent losses, and may wonder if you’ll ever complete a full pregnancy with a happy, healthy baby. You may feel that after subsequent losses, it is best to be quiet about it, not tell anyone, and try to move on silently.
These feelings are all very common, and you really can work through them positively.
And, you are not alone. Please consider sharing your story with us, so that another mother experiencing recurrent pregnancy loss can learn from you.
There are all kinds of support resources here at stillbirthday, from immediate support through the process of loss, to later, long term support resources.
Here are links to several different ideas and sources of information (outside links) that you might find useful. Please discard any resource that does not find comfort in your heart. This is not a place of imposing anyone’s position onto you in your journey, or even of endorsing any resource, but simply of presenting different opportunities for you. It is my deepeset desire that you can find a way, a person, or a place, that you feel comfortable talking about your feelings and getting the support that you need.
Multiple pregnancy loss is devastating, and emotional healing is extremely important. Please, as you grieve, and find your way to healing, be gentle with yourself.
Stillbirthday Additional Links:
- threatened miscarriage (and some tips)
- facts/stats on pregnancy & infant loss
- getting pregnant again
- loss after medically assisted conception (or ART)
- ending fertility in loss
- farewell celebrations
Perspectives from Other Mothers:
- The Pregnancy Companion (on fertility, adoption, and more)
- My Yellow Brick Road Has Potholes
- Operation Heads Up (on fertility options)
- Peer Infertility Counselors
Professional Fertility Support / Referrals
Prayers for Conception:
Identifying Primary Infertility:
Identifying Secondary Infertility:
Non-Medical Fertility Support:
- Our Cultural Keepsakes section might be valuable to you.
- As with anything, remember to consult your medical care provider.
Non-Medical Fertility and Healthy Links:
Medically Assisted Conception:
- Ovulation Induction
- Ovarian Drilling
- Intrauterine Insemination
- Female Surgery: Laparoscopy
- Female Surgery: Tubal Sterilization Reversal
- Female Surgery: Hydrosalpinx Removal
- Male Surgery: Testicular Biopsy
- Male Surgery: Testicular Sperm Aspiration (TESA)
- Male Surgery: Percutaneus Sperm Aspiration (PESA)
- In Vitro Fertilization (IVF)
- Embryo Donation and Adoption
- Embryo Adoption Awareness
- Blastocyst/Embryo Transfer
- Traditional Surrogacy / Gestational Surrogacy
- Surrogacy Laws by State
- “All Things Surrogacy“
- Foster/Adopt State-by-State Directory
- Adoption Agency Ratings
- Center for Adoption Support and Education
- Adoption Questions
- Missing Grace Foundation
- Adoption Doulas or any of our SBD Doulas
Finding Peace with Childlessness: