April is a very powerful month.

.

April is Child Abuse Awareness Month.

April is Alcohol Awareness Month.

April is Elective Abortion Recovery Month.

Spring has the highest rates of suicide.

April is the month of Debris Day.

Wow.

These are each enormous.

Let’s break the divisiveness.  These are incorrect statements:

• “Alcohol should be prohibited for bereaved parents.  That way they won’t self medicate and over use it.”
• “Bereaved parents who have living children are now unworthy of emotional support.  After all, they’ve got living children now.”
• “Mothers who’ve endured elective abortion should be mocked and shamed and are unworthy of emotional support.”

Our grief challenges us.  Our grief is hard work.

But if you can say just one kind thing to ANY of these demographics, any one kind thing to the bereaved parents reading this page, whatever kindness you can muster, please, leave your comment below for them to read.

You just might save a life.

To say thank you, one random comment will be drawn, for one large sized greeting card selection from the beautiful Lost For Words card line.  The drawing will be held on Sunday, May 5, 2013 – Bereaved Mother’s Day

 This giveaway is now closed.  The number drawn was 10.  Congratulations, Em.  Please contact me with the card of your choice from the Lost for Words card line.

2013 marks 25 years of official Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness since President Ronald Reagan signed Proclamation 5890.

Bereavement is just plain hard, isn’t it?

Is it possible at all, that we bereaved mothers can don something that is representative of our children, of our motherhood, of our bereavement, and still have it be….fashionable?

Still have it be…dare I say…sexy?

Life after loss challenges everything – including how we feel about our bodies and about our sexuality.

I believe that, for the bereaved mother who is also a wee bit daring, the Awareness belly ring could prove to be a wonderful addition to her summer attire.

I’ve got one, and I love it!  It’s a precious feeling, decorating my belly, my outer womb, with something so symbolic.

Are you signed up for our newsletter?  Because we’ll be giving one away for free in the May issue of the SBD Newsletter!

Giveaway!

November is National Prematurity Awareness month, and just like families who endure loss and who find significance in October, this month is a tender time for families who’ve experienced the need to utilize the NICU.

November 17 is also World Prematurity Day.

This is a very special giveaway, one that is going to work a little differently than most.

In this giveaway, you will choose a hospital to have beautiful, darling, teeny diapers donated to.

Megan, the founder of Teeny Tears, shares her experience both with needing the care of the NICU, and of loss, here:

As we came closer and closer to Dex and Crew’s third birthday, I began searching for a project that would honor Dex’s memory and give purpose to my grief. I was looking for something economical, meaningful, and within my limited sewing abilities.
When my sister showed me what her friend Arah had started making for the local hospitals in Spokane, I knew immediately that I had found my answer. My heart told me that there was no turning back. I would make tiny little diapers for stillborn micropreemie infants and those that pass away in the NICU. With full support from Arah, we launched Teeny Tears last November…

…please click here to read her whole story. 

All you have to do to enter this giveaway, is comment below, telling us:

What surprise or unexpected support did you receive during your pregnancy loss or NICU experience?

Please be sure to include in your comment, the name and city of the hospital you want the diapers donated to, and who your entry is in honor of – your own baby(ies) and/or others.  A tip: if it is a labor and delivery hospital, it will be more likely to receive the diapers than say, a children’s hospital.  If for any reason your chosen hospital can’t accept the diapers, a hospital within that community may be selected.

Two random names will also be drawn to receive one teeny diaper sent to you.

Winners (all three) will be selected on Monday, December 24 – Christmas Eve.

Each family receives two teeny diapers – one to keep as a momento, and one for the baby to wear.  Click the photo to watch Megan’s story.

More Ways to Get Involved

If making tiny diapers for precious babies is something you want to learn more about, please visit the Teeny Tears ”How you can help” tab.

You can get involved by sewing, or by donating to Teeny Tears to help support families.

You can even start your own Stillbirthday Love Cupboard, get a group together, and make Teeny Tears diapers!  Your own Love Cupboard could be featured on the Teeny Tears list!  What a fantastic way to approach the holidays and the New Year, by making a commitment to get involved and joining in this way to help other families.

Did you know?  Preemie awareness is a pink and blue ribbon, just like the pregnancy and infant loss ribbon.

This giveaway is now closed.  There were a couple of hospitals nominated that Teeny Tears are already in the process of supporting, and a couple of duplicate comments, so those were taken out for a fair drawing.  The location selected is Akron General Medical Center in Akron, Ohio.

Bereavement challenges everything we know about well, everything.

It challenges our faith.  Our trust in birth.  Our understanding of pregnancy.  Our concept of parenthood.  Our marriage.  Our identity.

I have seen mothers blame their care provider, blame God, blame their husband, blame each other, and blame themselves.

Blame has a place in grief – for the short term, there can even be value in blame.

However, if you are a bereaved mother reading this, I want to challenge you to explore even more deeply.

I want to challenge you to see the obstacles that can seem attractive but actually serve to distract and even detract from our healing.

I want us to identify these obstacles, and see that their purpose is to continue to isolate us and frustrate our efforts to obtain the healing that we deserve.

If you are a mother who has experienced pregnancy loss, infant loss or child loss at any time in the past, you are encouraged to take The Grief Dare.

With the help from some very generous organizations who’ve donated some amazingly lovely things to make this happen, this winter, I am going to dare you to grieve, together.

About the Grief Dare

One dare will be published at stillbirthday at the beginning of each week.  You will have only that week to achieve that dare.

There will be 15 dares, one dare per week.

The Grief Dare begins with the first dare published on December 31, 2012; the last week ends the weekend of Saturday, April 13th.

These dares will challenge you to strengthen your marriage, treat yourself with care, and explore areas of emotional difficulty in your grief journey.

You’ll participate in the Grief Dare by sharing what you explored and learned through each dare.  You’ll share your entry by using the Grief Dare forum.

You will be required to read, think, engage and write.

The Grief Dare will feature a few dares presented in The Respect Dare, a brand new book not scheduled for public release until mid-December!

Some entries will require photography and videography.  Please visit Angie at Still Life with Circles to know more about the powerful message of using videography in bereavement.

At the end of the 15 weeks, a team of stillbirthday members will vote on a first place and second place winner.

All entry fees for the Grief Dare must be paid before December 31, 2012.

The first place price is a hand made necklace and earring set from Dr. Laura designs!

Genuine Scrabble® tiles with images of cherubs and letters on the reverse side spelling the word FAITH.  Necklace can be worn both ways with matching earrings included and arrives in a beautiful presentation gift box.  Necklace is Amethyst, fresh water Pearls, Vermiel caps, beads and clasp, tiles sides covered with 18K Gold ink.  Necklace length 16.5 inches.

Click the photo for an even better look at this stunning set!

Five runners up will receive a custom made bracelet from B’Earth Angel.  The bracelet features two purple cords, which connect at the heart clasp.  One cord has a pink butterfly, while the other cord has a blue buttterfly.

I like to think of this as the purple cords representing that both the mom and dad are a part of each other’s journey in grief, and that while the journeys are separate, they are also, in fact, connected.  The pink butterfly making its way on its own cord touches the blue one on his.

Get entered today!

Step One: submit payment (below).

Step Two: Register in our Grief Dare forum. – then keep an eye out at SBD for our dares!

With Thanksgiving approaching here in the US, the entire month of November is often a time of reflection and of identifying people, events and experiences that we are thankful for.

Here at stillbirthday, we have a program called Ripples that challenges parents to identify aspects of their experiences that have impacted them and those around them in a positive way.

One of the most important realizations I have reached through my loss experience that I am tremendously thankful for is that I am not alone.

I am not thankful that others have experienced loss, but I am humbled – profusely, profoundly, deep to my core humbled – by the courage, the care, the compassion and the love other families exhibit when they share their experiences.  When they show their deepest vulnerabilities to reach beyond our cultural fears, taboos, indifference and terrible misunderstandings of loss, to simply say to other heartbroken families

“You are not alone.”

I also know that is is HARD to put your experiences into a website.  It is HARD to have your work criticised, minimized, ridiculed, judged, lied about, and stolen.  It is HARD to see your loved ones pressure you to stop helping others, wish you’d shut your website down, and shame you into ”getting over it” when the “it” they speak of, is healing, is rewarding, is productive, and is important.

Truly helping others isn’t being stuck in the most painful parts of yesterday.  It is instead helping to bring forward the most important tools to create a most healing place tomorrow – for yourself, and for others.

It is HARD to find yourself seeking legal council to defend hurting mothers against the public’s slander and dishonesty.  It is HARD to see people so recklessly forget that you are also and still a bereaved mother or father.  It is HARD to see competition rather than collaboration.

This isn’t just business.  It’s bereavement.

Stillbirthday offers unique and important resources for families, from prior to loss, during loss, and after the actual event has occured.  Stillbirthday NEEDS to be spread to midwives, nurses, obstetricians and others, because of our unique and important resources.

However, we are also a network.  A network filled with resources from all over the globe and all over the internet, resources built by other bereaved parents.  Resources that have been born out of the darkest of days, the most hurtful of experiences, and the deeepest compassion of others who lovingly and courageously say

“You are not alone.”

I am thankful for each of these organizations, each of these efforts, each of these families, each of these babies.

To say thank you, I want to let you know that I value you.  That I want stillbirthday to break those hurtful, competitive trends, and reach across these obstacles to speak the message of love, of kinship, of understanding, that you so sacrificially share to others

“You are not alone.”

Beginning January 1, stillbirthday has an absolutely wonderful opportunity for ALL bereaved families, and I want to make sure that everyone knows about it.  It is an opportunity that will be fun, challenging, inspiring, will help you grow personally and will help us grow as a community.

And, it has an absolutely stunning first place prize, worth $200!

I want everyone to know about it.

I want to challenge everyone to take The Grief Dare.

I want to extend my appreciation to bereavement organizations everywhere.  In return, let the families you serve know about The Grief Dare.

Stillbirthday is offering you two months of free advertising.  Your logo will be featured in the right sidebar for two months in 2013.

Thank you for your support in the bereavement community.  I know it isn’t easy.

To submit your bereavement organization logo, please email your logo – it must be a square – to heidi.faith@stillbirthday.com, before January 1, 2013.  Please include “free ad” in the subject line.

Click to learn more about our advertising opportunities.

Advertising with stillbirthday: stillbirthday is considered a blog, which means that it has its own unique SEO features.  Similarly, as a blog, stillbirthday has easy access into various directories, aggregators, and syndication websites.  The site creator is also the site developer, so new articles are added easily and quickly.  Stillbirthday receives new stories to be added regularly, thus the site is constantly being updated and viewed for the newest content; search engines immediately index this new content, making it visible within 15 minutes of publishing.  Search engines favor frequently visited sites.  Stillbirthday has faithfully received well over 20,000 visitors every month since our opening in August, 2011 – this number has increased to 50,000 monthly since August 2012.  Our traffic and attention is huge, and it would benefit your company to be a part of pregnancy loss support by becoming a stillbirthday sponsor.

A giveaway!

We received such an enormous response from our first giveaway from Handmade Jillry, that we are offering another of her lovely pieces!

Enter to win this beautiful necklace – a remembrance ribbon in a heart.

To enter:

Use your creativity.  Get out the colored pencils, the crepe paper, the paint, whatever art supplies you have, and create a pink and blue remembrance ribbon.  Snap a photo, send it to Heidi.Faith@stillbirthday.com, and you’ll be entered in our drawing – one random entry will be selected.  The winner will be selected on December 1, 2012.

The message of this giveaway, of your artwork, of this necklace, is that your heart remembers.

This giveaway is open to families whose ribbon is pink and blue because of pregnancy and infant loss, and for families whose ribbon is pink and blue because of prematurity.

Entries:

This giveaway is now closed.

The winner is number two.  Congratulations!  Please use the contact form at the top of the page, or email Heidi Faith, to enter in your mailing address to receive the beautiful necklace!