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Dignity in Birth.  Healing in Bereavement.

Welcome to StillBirthDay.

 

 

If you are miscarrying right now, or have just found out that when your pregnancy is over your baby will likely not survive, this website is the right place for you.

I am so very sorry.

It is my hope that this website will help you to:

  • learn a little bit about the kind of pregnancy/infant loss you are having
  • learn about your baby’s most recent development in the womb
  • be able to see an actual picture of a baby that is the same size as yours (only if you wish).  For greater accuracy, choose the age that your baby last measured at.
  • be able to read stories from other parents who endured pregnancy & infant loss at the same age as yours (only if you wish).  You can view the listing of gestation weeks in the right sidebar of the screen, followed by other groups of stories, such as stories from dads, stories of parents of multiples, and those from parents of children with a fatal diagnosis.   Some stories are password protected.  You can  learn what the password is, and what it means to use it.
  • learn more about the kinds of birth methods you might have for your baby
  • find ways to make the birth of your miscarried or stillborn baby meaningful
  • consider including a professionally trained Stillbirthday Birth and Bereavement Doula (SBD) in your birth plans.  Our doulas offer emotional and physical support prior to, during and after the birth of your miscarried or stillborn baby. You can also view a list of professionals who chose to list their names here at stillbirthday to provide support in the capacity of bereavement photographers, post loss lactation professionals, and more, all available in your state or online.
  • explore farewell celebrations that will help you grieve in a healthy way
  • come back to this site later, to utilize long term support services and resources listed here, and when you’re ready, to share your story, if you wish.  You are always welcome back.

Start Here

 

beforeduringafter

 

 

All of the links you need are listed at the top of the page; however, everything listed above has also been arranged in a way that will allow you to just click different options on each page and be taken to the specific path of information that is right for you, and will answer everything listed above in an easy to understand order.  All you have to do is click the Start Here link, and we will walk through this together.  You can do this.  We will do this together.

If you are visiting stillbirthday for the first time, please be sure to scroll through our main home page, as it has current giveaway opportunities, beautiful artwork, still parenting journals, our amazing sponsors, and more.

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Important disclaimer:  this is an informational site only, and should not be used to diagnose or treat any medical condition. Please consult your healthcare provider for medical information. Because this is not a medical website, we passionately strive to provide you with explanations that are sensitive and personal and not bound by medical terminology.

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If you are a friend or a loved one to someone losing a baby, this website is right for you.  I pray that you will be able to explore positive, constructive ways to support your loved one, as well as find healing and support for your own grieving heart.  Thank you so very much for being here.  Please use our Before Birth section that holds a great amount of links and valuable resources that you might present to your loved one.

If you have lost your baby at any time in the past, this website is right for you.  I pray that you will be able to find healing and inspirational expressions of love for your child and closure to the grief.  I pray that you will be able to reach out to other hurting parents by sharing your story with us.  If you have had a “rainbow baby”, meaning you’ve given birth to a live baby subsequent to a pregnancy or infant loss, we’d love to add your story to the getting pregnant again section, to offer hope to other parents, and invite you to view our subsequent pregnancy support section. Additionally, if you are pregnant now, and have had a loss at any time in the past, we have a section of helpful resources for you.

If your baby has died shortly after birth (neonatal death), including SIDS or fatal diagnosis, this website is right for you.  I pray you will be able to explore all of your postpartum options here, including lactation decisions, funeral planning, and fertility decisions such as trying to conceive again.   You are also invited to share your story , and it will be held in the Newborn story section, which also includes fatal diagnosis.

Please view our resources based on the specific fertility, pregnancy, infant or child loss you’ve experienced.

If you are the father of a miscarried or stillborn baby, your feelings and experiences are just as real and valid as the mother’s.  We have a growing section of resources specific to pregnancy loss support for dads and invite you to share your story and read the stories of other stillbirthday fathers.

If you are a professional or volunteer interested in supporting families through loss, bless you.  I pray this website will allow you to have a glimpse of what pregnancy loss is like, so that you can cultivate respectful empathy and a loving, servant heart toward broken hearted parents.  You also need support through grief, so please visit our Provider Care section, where you come first.  Thank you so very much for being here.

If you have completed our birth and bereavement training, I invite you to consider advancing your knowledge by hosting a workshop, becoming an SBD Chaplain, a regional representative, a member of our diversity team, or an official affiliate.  Or, simply consider other ways you can get involved, such as through our mentorship program, prayer team, news team, Love Cupboard program, or view our Connections information including how to become a local representative.

If you would like to read our stories, please visit our sharing invitation to learn what the password is, and what it means to use it.

The founder of stillbirthday is a birth and bereavement doula and the mother of a baby born in the first trimester. You can view pieces of Heidi’s story.

 


Share Your Story Share Your Story Become a Doula before during after

Comments

  1. Tamra Migonis says:

    Although I have never lost a baby or child my heart just breaks for all of you who has. I very nearly lost our twins and worked hard to keep them alive in the womb. It was my greatest fear that I’d lose them; your stories teach me that I could live through it with Gods providence and grace. I am filled with such heartache, gratitude and a little bit of guilt as I hold my precious sleeping twins on my lap. I am not a part of your loss community, but I sympathize with you deeply. Seeing the little lit zero candle brings tears to my eyes….I simply can not imagine. I pray comfort for all of you.

  2. I am the mother of a large family and have posted a link to this site on my blog. What a wonderful site with lots of compassionate and practical resources. In this day and age when children are not valued in the womb, it is can be especially horrible to a woman when she loses a little one and no one seems to care of understand.
    God bless you in all you do through this blog!

    Jill Farris
    http://www.generationalwomanhood.wordpress.com
    http://www.jillcampbellfarris.com.

  3. My first pregnancy was not plan and ended in heart ship! I lost my sweet boy at 24 weeks along . I miss him everyday . I had three babies after him but sometihings still missing! HIM!12-13-2002

  4. We just said goodbye to our first baby at 12w2d after a missed miscarriage. It is so hard to get used to this new life without him. Even though he was only with us a short time, he changed us and we aren’t really sure what we are now. After a year of trying, we finally got that positive pregnancy test and became a family…what are we now that we are never going to be able to raise our baby?

    • babz covington says:

      when we lose our husbands we are widows. when we lose our parents we are orphans . child loss is so painful and there just isn’t a word we use to describe it. in hushed tones we say , “their baby died ” as if even speaking of it is too terrible to name out loud. i am very sorry for your loss.

  5. We lost one of our twin girls at 28 weeks to the day and then we lost her sister a six weeks later in a NICU. It was so hard because we couldn’t even grive for our first one because we had to be there for her sister who tried to fight as hard as her little body could. Once it was over it was the worst place I have ever been in. We’ve had two more children since that time, ten years ago, and we have a much greater appreciation of the true miracle children are. My heart is broken for all those who share in this horrible experience and hope that you find peace someday if it’s at all possible. I know that my peace is that I will see my babies again in heaven.

  6. Britney morrison says:

    On october first I could tell something was different with my.body just.by a.few changes. my husband and I had tried for 2 years with no.luck and always seeing a.negative sign :( it was very heart.breaking so I refused to tak a yest until the end.of october on the 27th I finally got the.nerve to take a test and the positive popped up so fast I couldnt believe it we were so excited and so were our parents! On november 2 late evening I started cramping and feeling sick my husband and his aunt rushed me to the hospital we later realized what was going on and I was miscarrying! At that moment.i was lost I didnt.understand why me.why our.baby? God.had different plan for our.baby and I dont hav a reason whu but I would lov to say it gets easier.but.it does not . I feel a empty spot.in my.heart I cry alot more than I ever hav I work in childcare and hearing a baby cry hurts so bad. I still wake up in the middle of the.night thinking I hear my.baby crying out!

  7. I have had 2 miscarriages,and they was very early,I knew it was cause the way i felt,I have p.c.o.s and Was tld i may never have a child and I would be high risk,well I am,37 now still no kids and it hurts my heart,I want a child so much but God has his plans I guess,I still cry and ask why,I may never know why some can just keep popping kids out and not care for them,or a woman gets blessed and goes and aborts,it makes me angry,why can’t i be blessed?..I just know I deal with the pain everyday,and nobody knows cause i don’t tell.

  8. Carissa Hunter says:

    My name is Carissa. I am married to my best friend. I am a mother (I say so) I had my first son to stillbirth recently right before christmas Dec 19th 2012 was the hardest thing I ever ever imagined myself facing on this earth..I was 7 months when me and my husband lost him. Three days went by and i felt no movement. He was definitely always a busy one in the womb. His name was Malachi Rheynard Hunter, and beautifully perfect! He had nick named him “Happy Feet” because his kicks were soo fast and funny at the same time and he was my life changer even before he was born. Nick naminghim that was special to me because my husband being a be kid ..lol..his favorite movies were Happy feet. So yes I am a mother to a amazing Angel above. Everyday since has been slow for me mentally, emotionally and physically but just facing that has definitely givenme new pair of eyes on LIFE it self.ALthough this still fresh, while siting in the hospital room that morning not hearing my baby boys heart beat God immediately gave me peace, and I never felt angry, or mad. You would think after having to deliver a child , then hold him, as if we was sleeping but no breath in his body, I would be pissed…That part was peaceful to me, the scariest part for me was afterwards I did lose alot of blood, blood pressure lowered I headed out and had to have blood transfusions .Yes I wondered slightly what I may have done, or why, but it wasnt me and it showed my relationship with God and his peaceful grace upon me at that moment. And that It wasnt his plan for me to leave yet, although my son is gone he was perfect before we got to see the world thats Why god has him as an angel. We a couples days after had a small very small baby ceremony at our church and my Bishop say the most peaceful encouraging words that eases my hurt every time i think of it, he said “The first voice he heard was Mommy and Daddys,but the first face he saw was God’s”, I tear up every time i say that to my self because Thats so special to me and to know that its true <3

    I honestly wanted another baby at that time, and still do although its only been 3 weeks since, but me and my husband decided that it would be best to heal physically and I know I need to let myself go through the process of grieving over this. Yes, realistically I have had my moments so far, I know it is just the beginning but I still manage to pull out the good of the situation. Some of my friends or people that know me are just surprise at me coping this way but "IM OK" . Right now me and my husband relationship has starting to be affected a little, (the blaming eachother, feeling like there is no emotional connection to each other, arguments) but for Malachi we are sticking together and CANT allow us to do that, we know that enemy wants us to break down and give up and blame eachother but thats a BIG no for us. We have not and will not allow this to keep us stagnant or use this as a crutch to not move forward, nothing will. I am still smiling, and thank God for his many reasons for everything. We are still seeing other babies in the future, just allowing ourselves to cope with this peacefully. Yes I will be a bit nervous next round but hopefully I have a good medical support team by then. I think the hardest part about losing my son was not EVER knowing WHY or WHAT exactly happened. Im at a place right now where I am just excepting it. I will never EVER forget this day..I can't, still trying to find ways to cope with it so this is why i found this website where other women feel my pain, emotion, and hurt. So just like someone reaches me I hope I did for someone else, because we all have testimonies, and are all Stronger than what we think, heck i forget that at times. I hope to connect with you all out there, and even for my husband, he needs some Daddy's out there who are being strong for us, and that protector but need to let that emotion and just talk to someone about whats inside for them also. Thank you all,
    Carissa.

  9. I lost my sweet son to sids

  10. I just lost my sweet baby girl at 12 weeks. Words cannot describe the emptiness. 9/24/2013.

  11. Kristi zerban says:

    I had went to the bathroom and felt a gush of fluid come out I knew my water had broke I went to the hospital ten hours later the baby was still alive later the next say had an ultrasound and found out the baby had went to heaven I was scheduled for surgery three says later but the same night of me finding NTT baby gone I went into hard labor my baby was born at five that morning then I had surgery anyone have the same experience this uptrend to me two days ago

  12. I had 4 miscarriages and a stillbirth in the past 4 years. I can’t imagine going through anything more painful and heartbreaking. A friend directed me to this site a few weeks ago. Thank you.

  13. kelly pauley says:

    I lost mine along time a go I was a 15 year old list them at 3 months and it stills but know. They wait for me in heaven u have a 14 year ol dadaughter now I can’t immagine how mommies and daddies go through a still birth so much love and prayers to all of you that have been through it I am always here if anyone needs just to talk

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